Beam Me Up

"There's a whole n'other conversation going on, in a parallel universe, where nothing breaks and nothing hurts. There's a waltz playing frozen in time, blades of grass on tiny bare feet, I look at you and you're looking at me. Could you beam me up, give me a minute i don't know what i'd say in it. I'd probably just stare happy just to be there holding your face. Beam me up, let me be lighter, |'M TIRED OF BEING A FIGHTER, I THINK, a minutes enough, Just beam me up. Some black birds soaring in the sky, barely a breath like our one last say, tell me that was you saying goodbye. There are times when i feel the shiver and cold, it only happens when i'm on my own, I tell ya tell me i'm not alone. Could you beam me up, give me a minute i don't know what i'd say in it. I'd probably just stare happy just to be there holding your face. Beam me up, let me be lighter i'm tired of being a fighter I think a minutes enough, just beam me up. In my head i see your baby blues. I hear your voice and i break in two, and now there's one of me with you. So when you need me can you give me a sign, I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights, I'll pick a star and watch you shine, Could you beam me up, give me a minute i don't know what i'd say in it. I'd probably just stare happy just to be there holding your face. Beam me up, let me be lighter i'm tired of being a fighter I think, a minutes enough. Just beam me up." We live in such a fast paced world. Faster phones, tv, ipads, drive thru's, internet. Put your kids in twenty different hobbies and sports. By the time we have time to slow down it's like we still have so much pressure to do housework, buy groceries, do more work if we are working outside of the home, just trying to catch up! It seems when we finally stop to breath and look around us at the spinning world that may seem to be completely spinning out of control. We forget who we are, what we are and most importantly what truly matters in this very mortal life. I put the words to this song on here for two reasons. Not only does it calm me down and really help me to reflect on my kids, Telaai and my husband. It has a much more broad purpose in the wards than what you hear. As I was listening to this song tonight just reflecting on how fast paced my life seems. I feel like I have lost my way in life, like I have gotten so caught up in consuming my hurt and grieve and feelings with everything else that seriously doesn't matter and in doing that have lost my place in life. I have found myself bitter and angry. Blaming God and asking why so many things have happened to our family and that i feel like we are good people. I seem to blaming everything else but myself for the feelings I have had. I went in this past week to talk to my bishop to plead for guidance in my life. It was very interesting and so humbling what he said to me. I told him I'm so sick of being told how strong i am and how people don't see me behind closed doors, that i'm not a strong person. I do what i need to do for my family to help them have the best life possible, at this point i'm sobbing my eyes out in complete despair. He looked at me with the sweetest smile and tears in his eyes and simply said, you know those stories in the scriptures about the armies that fought against each other. They were both incredibly strong, but, one army was physically strong and spiritually strong. That response hit me to my very sole. I have forgotten and pushed aside the love of my Savior and my God. I haven't prayed only spitting things out in bitter and angry fits. I don't read my scriptures. I have completely forgotten I AM A DAUGHTER OF GOD. He is there to Beam Me Up. To take my burdens and make them light, he is just waiting for us to speak to him and tell him of our joys our sorrows, our heart aches and our triumphs. This song helps me so much because it reminds me of something my Heavenly Father must be thinking of about me. When I realized this, the warm truthfulness of what I know came flooding back into my soul, my body was filled with warmth i haven't felt since Telaai brought us so close to Heavens vail. I remember I i had been forgetting in my fast paced life. Just as us parents crave to comfort our children and to make sure that they feel loved and safe and know we will always be there to listen to them without judgement, so is our God, our Father. I have a peace again i haven't been able to feel lately. I love music and am so grateful that there are such talented people out there who can turn such beautiful word into music that can fill our souls with the spirit. The next time we feel ourselves spinning out of control from the daily pressures of life, take a minute, take a breath and just slow down a little and remember who you are.